Bridges
and
Boundaries
And a note on Intersectionality
This project was about a lot of things, but if I were to summarise, it was about making connections between disparate times, places and peoples. Connecting the past to the present, connecting the Indigenous community to the settler community and other communities of colour, connecting the sea to the forrest and the community to the sea.
But a conversation about connections is also a conversation about boundaries; boundaries can allow for healthy connection or they can block it completely. Boundaries are their own entity and deserve as much care and intention as the things you are trying to connect. We learn a lot of interesting things about boundaries in Landscape architecture; entire ecologies are dictated by them.
We can get more into that another time. (I keep saying that.)
Personal Boundaries
These are the boundaries I actually want to address. Architecture school sucks with boundaries; and its in architecture school where we really learn to weaken or blatantly disregard ours. We get sucked in by the expectations and the culture: to work through the night, to spend all your free hours in studio, to take work home, to shun time for food and sleep, to shun friends and support for the bragging rights of having done it "all on your own" etc.
Its said that this is done to prepare you for the reality of working in an architecture firm. Sadly this is true, because architecture firms will often expect these very sacrifices from you. But if the increasing number of people leaving the architecture industry due to health (physical and mental) reasons is an indicator of anything, its that this dynamic is trash. And needs replacement.
My First Job Post Grad
In my first job after graduation, I had established with my boss that I wouldn't work on weekends - no office time, no meetings, no site visits. I did still do the other stuff during the week, like all-nighters every month and late nights more often than not. I tried to take full 2hr lunch breaks and not feel guilty for them, but it was hard to avoid the feeling that I was doign something I wasn't supposed to do.
But that weekend boundary
I stuck to my weekend boundary though. My boss still asked, regularly, if I would be interested in joining a Saturday meeting or a Sunday site visit, and she didn't push it when I said no. But one time, she was giving me a ride home, and she mentioned that she was proud of me for protecting my time and my health and that she was trying to do that more too - but she came from a generation gave the grind its name. She had more to work through.
That was before Landscape
During my second round of Grad School, studying Landscape Architecture, I tested my boundaries more than before (in the harmful way for sure) but I also fought for them explicitly for the first time. I learned to simply not do what I was told, when what was expected would break my boundaries.
Appearances
The day I presented this project, I was going my second night without sleep (not including the 2hrs in the car on the way to Portland to present), I hadn't eaten since the afternoon before and hadn't had time to pack a lunch. I had spent all my money on supplies and printing for this project and was too tired to gather up the courage to ask a classmate to buy me lunch. I had a huge pot of ramen when IÂ finally got home that night. And I decided I would never do that to myself again. But the presentation went well, except for one guy who didn't like the borders on my poster; it didn't work for his professional aesthetic.
Re-connect
Healthy Boundaries: A strong connection with yourself.
When you understand yourself
You understand when you've had enough and where to draw the line. You understand what exceptions to make and what to make no exceptions for. You understand what will make you feel bad about yourself and your work.
But Also
You understand what you do want. You can actively decide for the things you want and take risks that are rewarding. You can connect to people and projects and causes that don't create a disconnect within yourself and your community
Its All You
Nobody can set your boundaries for you; not that they won't try (so watch out for that I guess, institutions are especially guilty of this). You can kind of tell you have good boundaries when you tend to piss authorities and mentors off; or maybe you just exasperate them, if you learned how to tell people no in a polite way.
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You might start to feel like a villain. Thats ok, someone needs to change things up, right?
But what happens after that
When you've created the boundaries that you've needed, you can finally connect with all the people and ideas that suit you most; that make living more exciting. You learn how to feel good instead of just feeling "normal" - if you haven't noticed, more and more; depression is normal, exhaustion is normal, stress is normal, anxiety is normal. Normal is trash. And needs replacement.
